A few years ago, I was brought the lesson of hate, haters, negativity. I was brought this lesson in the form of those people who “love” us. I was brought this lesson by those people who I had thought were my greatest supporters. I was brought this lesson by learning that I was supported as long as I played the same game as them, the same way as them. But deviate from the script – well now, that’s not acceptable.
As I began the journey of exploring who I am here and now, in this time, in these circumstances, I began to realize that the life I had been aspiring for wasn’t the life I wanted. Part of me had always known. Part of me had always had that quiet voice in the back of my head that would whisper “no” while the word “yes” came out of my mouth. Part of me just wanted to fit in, even though fitting in has never been my reality. Part of me wanted to hide. Being different can be scary.
Then I met someone like me. And then another, and more. Not just like me, of course. They look different, sound different, wish for different. In fact, we really had nothing in common except that we were “different”. And that we accepted that about each other. Accepted that about ourselves. We didn’t fit any mold out there and we didn’t try to shove each other into the molds that looked like us. We somehow spoke the same language.
My experiences with them informed me that I could be. Just be – me.
In the time since that ‘awakening’ so to speak, my life has changed dramatically. I went through a divorce, a lay off, a job that brought me stress weight-gain and back issues, my mother passed away, I became a wife again, I gained three children, we uprooted our life for a new one in a new town not far away yet so very far away, my entire circle of friends shifted, just to touch on a few of the major points. In short – my entire life changed. Pretty drastically.
And yet, I find myself sitting here, on the cusp of a new adventure, clinging to many old patterns. Many old hurts.
But also opportunity.
An opportunity to be something new. To be love. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? To be love. To be open. So freeing. So warm and welcoming. It is easy. Until it’s not. Then what?
It is easy to be open and loving when people agree with you, when they like you and are like you. It’s even easy to be open and loving when people disagree with you in a respectful and loving way. But what about those times when there is anger? Aggression? Fear? When one or both sides believes so passionately that their perspective is the true path, the true vision, the only way that the work should be done. What then?
Then the real work begins.
The work of listening when you want to speak. Listening with both ears, the brain, and the heart.
The work of asking questions. Questions to provoke discussion not animosity.
The work of being present with that other person with an honest intention to learn about their perspective.
I struggle with this, too. It is one of my toughest challenges. But it is a skill we must learn. The world has entered into a strange and curious time. There are shifts and awakenings happening every time in every corner of this tiny little massive globe. New experiences, new perspectives. Learning to live in this new world will take a new kind of resilience. The resilience that is brought when one of us looks directly into another’s soul and acknowledges their presence. Acknowledges their sameness and differentness and wonderfulness.
That resilience that comes from being open to trusting that this other person wants what you want. To love. And be loved. And be love.
As always, In Love & Light ~ Namaste.