Welcome to 2016! How have you been? I have been busy, very busy. Lots of exciting changes for me in the last quarter, and most especially the last fourteen days of 2015. To list just a few:
- My fiancé began the process of moving his things into my (soon to be our) home. In order for this to occur, I needed to make space for his things. My on-going purge went into full effect.
- Two moving trips turned into three, including movie worthy incidents during the second and third moves. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles anyone? (Tip: Never move on a holiday)
- My new in-laws decided they would come for Christmas and stay for our wedding. Ten people in a house that usually has one and a half. More incidents. And when I write the word incidents … I mean we could give the Griswold’s a run for their money.
- Christmas Eve/Christmas Day including a clash of traditions and a scramble to compensate.
- That year when half your kids believe in Santa and the other half don’t.
- The wedding cake – sans decorations due to a misunderstanding at the baker’s. And the frantic search through three craft stores to rectify it.
- A wedding. Oh my gosh, what a wedding. I’ve never been to a more fun wedding and I am so grateful to be able to claim it as mine.
Now, if you’ve been following me for awhile, either here or in social media, you know that I don’t count January 1 as the official New Year. I count October 29, the day after my birthday. What this means is that annual ritual of review, renew, and plan occurs in October rather than December (good thing, huh? given all I had going on at the end of December…) But between October and December, we decided to shift focus. The path we were on wasn’t getting us where we needed to go.
I spent a good portion of 2015 lacking resourcefulness.
What does that mean, you might ask. Let’s look at some definitions of Resourcefulness:
The ability and creativity to cope with difficulties. To be able to deal, skillfully and promptly with new situations. The ability to act effectively or imaginatively in difficult situations.
Especially as the latter part of the year came to pass, and more and more high priority items became critical on my action list, I seemed to lose more and more resources. Time especially.
Or so I said, to myself and to others.
Which is a false statement. A limiting belief. An obstacle. An avoidance. Complete and total bullshit.
You know how I know?
Because in the same amount of time, I had friends doing exactly the same things I said I was going to do. They got fit. They wrote their books. They rebranded and launched their websites. They made rank in their networking marketing companies. On and on and on.
Sure, sure, I can legitimately make the excuse that they did not have all of the obstacles I had. But they had other things. Worse things in some cases. Illnesses, hospitalizations, job loss. Some of their situations freed up more available time for them. Some increased their drive and need to ‘get it done NOW.’
What this really boils down to is that they utilized their resourcefulness while I did not.
You might be wondering where this burst of honesty is coming from. A few things happened this morning. One was a communication with a friend about some recent steps taken to launch into new areas. “My” areas. Areas this person previously had no interest in being in. At least not until we spoke a few months ago. Now my path … looks a lot like this person’s path. And for the first time in a long time, I felt envy. Envy where I normally feel pride and joy when I hear of other’s successes.
So I consulted my husband. Who never fails to amaze me with his intelligence and insight. His words alleviated (most of) my envy. And gave me a bit of pride. He helped me see where I had done exactly what I claim is one of my roles in life, be a teacher. He helped me see where my communications with this friend previously had opened up new avenues for them to travel. How if I hadn’t introduced this or that, then they would never have explored those options.
And isn’t that what I want to be? A teacher? A guide? A mentor?
Yes. Yes it is. It is what I hope to be.
Another thing that happened is the random selection of one of Tony Robbins’ talks from You Tube. In which he spoke about Resourcefulness. He describes resourcefulness as the ultimate resource. To quote him directly, he stated that “the difference between you and this person is not that they had more resources, it is that they were more resourceful.”
Truer words could not have been spoken. Thank you for the punch in the nose, Mr. Robbins, touché. Much Gratitude. Ouch.
Because I am close with this person for whom I had envy earlier today. And I know quite a bit about what has been going on in their life. And can say with honesty, that they have been just as busy with busyness as I have been.
So why is this person further ahead in our respective goals than I am? I’ll bet you can guess by now …
They were more resourceful.
They chose their target, aimed, and went for it. They didn’t allow the little or big things to derail them. But I did.
In actuality though, that will work out well for me in the long run. I have a unique ability to see pitfalls on other people’s paths and learn to watch for them on mine. So this person going before me on almost the exact path as me will give me that rare opportunity to benefit from those quirky little mistakes and failures that come up.
I also have the ability to clarify and refine further what, exactly, my goals are. Truly. It is easy to get bogged down in the action of doing a thing, going a place, making a path. And sometimes we don’t notice when we are in a rut. I have the marvelous opportunity to see the rut because someone else is traveling in it.